Give Them an Inch...

I love these calls, I really do. Some days I feel like I'm auditioning actors for a play. All you vets out there know who I mean.

The calls come in. The person, usually a woman and never a client, is sobbing about how her dog is dying and nobody will help her. She's called everywhere, but nobody will help her and her poor dying dog. Sympathetic staff that we have, they want to help. But, as you've guessed, the lady has no money. Some of these actors will go so far as to tug your heartstrings by telling us how their mom/dad/grandma/child/neighbor has just died, and now the poor dog needs to be put out of its misery.

Okay, I can be a hard ass about money (read previous posts), but I'm not about to allow a suffering animal to die a miserable death. Though I really want to tell this person how they should have cultivated a relationship with a veterinarian before getting into this predicament, I refrain. So, against my better judgment, I allow the lady to come in.

I will (and most other vets will, too) euthanize a suffering pet for free, on occasion. Key word: on occasion. It's amazing the stories and lies people will come up with to get out of paying (they have the money but it's for the lottery tickets/cigarettes/beer/new plasma TV, etc). The truly destitute are GRATEFUL. These story weavers are not.

Back to my sobbing lady. She comes in. She acts grateful that we will put her poor dog out of its misery. BUT, (you knew there was a catch here, right?). She wants to be present (that incurs extra costs on our part by increasing staff costs, catheter placement, room use, disruption of scheduled appointments, etc). Then, rather than take the body home for burial (which she can do for FREE, because, you see, she did tell us she had NO MONEY), she wants a private cremation, which, for a dog this size, costs $200. Hello?!

Sorry, Honey, but you're a scam artist through and through. And, unfortunately, I've heard all of this before (as has every vet on the planet) not once, not twice, but too many times to count. Is there some scam school out there that teaches these things? Because you all say the same things!

For free, I will put the dog down on my time in my way and you will take the body home. If that's not acceptable, please take your dog elsewhere.